Ophelia, This is a really great start to your brochure. The background image reminds me so much of a paper mache project a little kid would do, the colors relate so nicely to the colors you've chosen to use. The overall deisgn is highly modern and gives me a feeling of being organic. The only thing I'm questioning a little bit is the way you chose to put the circle cut outs on pages 3 and 4. Just because the text column on the left column looks a lot more difficult to read than the one on the right side. it has to very rigid sides which might affect the readability.
Ophelia – Some good work is shown here. Nice. Some suggestions:
Cover – Am I seeing the crumpled paper overlaying the crayon wax in a layer blend within a Photoshop file? This is in interesting idea, but it seems to dull the colors of the wax, which I’m not sure you want to have happen. I believe it is very important to retain the bright saturation of the dripping wax – so keep thinking about this. I can understand that you want to introduce the crumpled paper here, since we will see it again on the inside – the question is, how. One thought would be to use it, full color, in a horizontal bar along the bottom, to hold a white logo (as I see on page 2/3). The pure white background under the dripping wax is important to retain – since the contrast between it and the wax allows that wax to appear bright. So, adding the paper in a contained shape elsewhere on the page might be the best choice. And… see the logo feedback next…
2. Logo – I wonder if you have looked at all the possible size combinations for the logo icon and the logo letters. Currently, the icon appears to be larger and heavier, almost crushing those letters. Keep thinking about their relationship. Also – the color of the icon should/could also be used for the letters – to help unite them further. I see you are already thinking about this on page 2. Making a color break between them only serves to distance them further from each other.
2/3 – I think it is often difficult to read whole paragraphs of content that are centered. I understand why you want to do this (the circular element at the top) – so I would suggest you use justified type, and allow hyphenation to help avoid white rivers in the text.
I’m not sure you need the second circular element at the top of page 3. Instead have you considered allowing the top crumpled paper bar to extend over the gutter and across page 3? I’m also going to suggest that you don’t use the crumpled paper along the bottom on this spread. Since it is used to good effect on the next spread, and we already see it at the top of this one – maybe seeing it at the bottom here comes close to “too much.” It wouldn’t be a bad idea to introduce a photo of school children here on this opening spread.
4/5 Center Spread – this is a great use of the center spread. Interestingly, I don’t mind the circular text wrap on the left since I can always find where to begin the next line. However, I wonder if you need that circle on the right with its awkward text wrap at the top. Maybe adhering to the symmetrical balance of the page so strictly isn’t working to your advantage here. Consider eliminating that right hand circle cut out, and feel the freedom of working asymmetrically.
Please note that the categories that appear in the upper right of page 5 must move to the bottom of page 4 lower left – the section in which it belongs. That numbered list must appear with the Certification section – don’t make us travel so far to find it. We probably won’t! I think you can enlarge the area for your content pretty easily by reducing the size of your margins (holding the crumpled paper background).
I notice that you are centering your headings and subheadings – why? With the lovely large text wrap on left, it might be better to FL them all, everywhere.
The infographic heading should read:
MATERIAL DISPOSED IN THE SCHOOL CLASS WASTE STREAM
Great work – looking forward to seeing what is next.
I love this, the cover especially. The texture in the cover design really works. Also the colorfully crumpled up paper as the background in the brochure works as well.
I really like the improvements you've made since our critique last Thursday. I like that you made the bottom of the left page the same as the right one on the 2/3 spread. It looks more unified now. Though I like how you added the watercolors to the paper material on the other pages, I agree with Coni that I'm not so sure if I like it as much on the cover page. It does tend to take away from the vibrant saturation of the crayons. I think it would be a stronger photo without that combination. Also for the cover, though the paper on the bottom is very subtle, I think that your cover could actually even go without that as well. Just the plain white background I think will suffice. I also agree with Coni for the logo that the colors from the logo should match the letters to be more unified, and minimize the logo shape a bit because I can see what Coni means by it looks like it is crushing the letters. But overall I'm really liking the design. It has a CEO appeal as well as remaining within the theme of your target audience. It's playful but to a minimum so it still remains professional. Great work so far!
Ophelia,
ReplyDeleteThis is a really great start to your brochure. The background image reminds me so much of a paper mache project a little kid would do, the colors relate so nicely to the colors you've chosen to use. The overall deisgn is highly modern and gives me a feeling of being organic. The only thing I'm questioning a little bit is the way you chose to put the circle cut outs on pages 3 and 4. Just because the text column on the left column looks a lot more difficult to read than the one on the right side. it has to very rigid sides which might affect the readability.
Ophelia – Some good work is shown here. Nice. Some suggestions:
ReplyDeleteCover – Am I seeing the crumpled paper overlaying the crayon wax in a layer blend within a Photoshop file? This is in interesting idea, but it seems to dull the colors of the wax, which I’m not sure you want to have happen. I believe it is very important to retain the bright saturation of the dripping wax – so keep thinking about this. I can understand that you want to introduce the crumpled paper here, since we will see it again on the inside – the question is, how. One thought would be to use it, full color, in a horizontal bar along the bottom, to hold a white logo (as I see on page 2/3). The pure white background under the dripping wax is important to retain – since the contrast between it and the wax allows that wax to appear bright. So, adding the paper in a contained shape elsewhere on the page might be the best choice. And… see the logo feedback next…
2. Logo – I wonder if you have looked at all the possible size combinations for the logo icon and the logo letters. Currently, the icon appears to be larger and heavier, almost crushing those letters. Keep thinking about their relationship. Also – the color of the icon should/could also be used for the letters – to help unite them further. I see you are already thinking about this on page 2. Making a color break between them only serves to distance them further from each other.
2/3 – I think it is often difficult to read whole paragraphs of content that are centered. I understand why you want to do this (the circular element at the top) – so I would suggest you use justified type, and allow hyphenation to help avoid white rivers in the text.
I’m not sure you need the second circular element at the top of page 3. Instead have you considered allowing the top crumpled paper bar to extend over the gutter and across page 3? I’m also going to suggest that you don’t use the crumpled paper along the bottom on this spread. Since it is used to good effect on the next spread, and we already see it at the top of this one – maybe seeing it at the bottom here comes close to “too much.” It wouldn’t be a bad idea to introduce a photo of school children here on this opening spread.
4/5 Center Spread – this is a great use of the center spread. Interestingly, I don’t mind the circular text wrap on the left since I can always find where to begin the next line. However, I wonder if you need that circle on the right with its awkward text wrap at the top. Maybe adhering to the symmetrical balance of the page so strictly isn’t working to your advantage here. Consider eliminating that right hand circle cut out, and feel the freedom of working asymmetrically.
Please note that the categories that appear in the upper right of page 5 must move to the bottom of page 4 lower left – the section in which it belongs. That numbered list must appear with the Certification section – don’t make us travel so far to find it. We probably won’t! I think you can enlarge the area for your content pretty easily by reducing the size of your margins (holding the crumpled paper background).
I notice that you are centering your headings and subheadings – why? With the lovely large text wrap on left, it might be better to FL them all, everywhere.
The infographic heading should read:
MATERIAL DISPOSED
IN THE SCHOOL CLASS
WASTE STREAM
Great work – looking forward to seeing what is next.
Ophelia,
ReplyDeleteI love this, the cover especially. The texture in the cover design really works.
Also the colorfully crumpled up paper as the background in the brochure works as well.
WOW!!! I'm amazed by this.
Ophelia,
ReplyDeleteI really like the improvements you've made since our critique last Thursday. I like that you made the bottom of the left page the same as the right one on the 2/3 spread. It looks more unified now. Though I like how you added the watercolors to the paper material on the other pages, I agree with Coni that I'm not so sure if I like it as much on the cover page. It does tend to take away from the vibrant saturation of the crayons. I think it would be a stronger photo without that combination. Also for the cover, though the paper on the bottom is very subtle, I think that your cover could actually even go without that as well. Just the plain white background I think will suffice. I also agree with Coni for the logo that the colors from the logo should match the letters to be more unified, and minimize the logo shape a bit because I can see what Coni means by it looks like it is crushing the letters. But overall I'm really liking the design. It has a CEO appeal as well as remaining within the theme of your target audience. It's playful but to a minimum so it still remains professional. Great work so far!