Elizabeth – a good beginning here! Some suggestions:
The hexagons are starting to look like interlocking pieces that could be part of a game – good. That actually makes sense. And, as much as they are clever, I wonder if you need them top and bottom? Sometimes a good thing can be overused, and this might be one of the times. Consider using them across both pages of the spread, moving from left to right along the bottom – or top, but not both. The band of them can serve to unify the pages if used in this way. Currently it appears like you might be using them to fill left over space… and they are actually making your pages look a bit too crowded. So – create a repeated band across both pages on your master page, knowing that you can always overlap the band with other photos – adding some depth to the pages if you like.
Your body copy still appears to be quite bold. Is there a lighter version of that type design?
Page 2 – Please consider moving the photo to the outside of the page, and the column of text to the inside. This allows the negative space that surrounds the photo to flow off the page, and opens up the design a bit. Currently you have left quite a lot of trapped neg space around that photo in its current position.
Page 3 – I’m not sure about your grid here. There seems to be an overly large amount of white space moving down the middle of your design. Instead, please increase your margins and pull the columns of text together. (This should be done on the master page). The margins are usually 2x the gutter between columns, cushioning the page design, like a frame. It is important that the negative columns of space are less than the margins to make that happen.
Feel free to use InDesign’s pre-styled bullet and numbered list formatting that you can find up on the control panel if you are in the text tool. It will employ double indenting, which I see is missing from your bullet list.
I suggest you leave ½ page for your infographic (vertical space or horizontal) and continue with the page layout, returning to that space after you are happy with your page layouts. It will be important that Levels of Achievement section appear on the same spread, with its 4 levels… and so having some freedom to work that out makes sense. Don’t worry about the infograph at this point, and I say that because it is already causing a problem by taking up too much room on page 4 and creating an issue with the next page (not enough content here, right?)
The data for the infograph is good – and I see 2 specific dated instances where the problem has resulted in a recall. Very expensive for the corporation, and something they would want to avoid. So – very good reason why they might be open to MBDC’s research. But – I think we might be able to find a more concise, compact way to show that data. And, it will depend on the space you end up with – so not to worry at this point. Finish the page layouts, and then return to this element.
Hi Elizabeth, I definitely feel like the shapes look better filled in. But if you're going to use them at the top as well as the bottom of the page, try keeping them even from side to side rather than going up into the middle of the page with the shapes like you did on page 2 and 5. It just gives a more unified feel for a border.
Another suggestion I have for you is to play around with your text sections more. Maybe you could style them differently. The thing I'm noticing the most is between paragraphs, you don't have any different amount of space there which might make reading it a little tiresome because there are no real breaks. On page 4 the text at the top is also too close to the set of shapes you have up there.
HI Elizabeth! I admire the Polygon elements you've placed here. Im kind of concerned about the images on pages 2 and 3. make sure the Lago image dosent come in contact with the elements and do you want the image of the kids exactly in the middle? Perhaps make it alittle big and move it slightly to the top. (Just a suggestion). Careful, the sentence on page 4, where its touching the green elements(near top) Overrall its really good and simple and the details of the infograpgh are very great in detail, sends A STRONG important message.
The repeated design element of the hexagons creates a great rhythm throughout the brochure which is great! However, I do agree with Coni that it probably isn't needed all around the pages. I like her suggestion of having them either on the top or the bottom half of the page. Or maybe even in opposite corners? I also think it would be nice if you put a sort of faded gradient throughout the shapes. Like from the corners they would be full of color, but then as they expand into the page, they fade out to white. Just an idea!
I really like the improvements you've made with the leading! It looks much, much better now and easier for us to read. More breathing room. Careful on the bulleted list on page 3, there is a widow on the 2nd bullet and the 7th.
Also on page 2, i like that you emphasized the Cradle to Cradle by bolding it out of the paragraph. Though hyphenation is alright in most cases, I would turn it off or avoid using it for capital words or names like Cradle to Cradle. In that paragraph on page 2, the word Cradle is hyphenated, but easily fixable by taking out the hyphenation in that part.
Other than that, I think you've made tremendous improvements and I can't wait to see the finished design!
Elizabeth – a good beginning here! Some suggestions:
ReplyDeleteThe hexagons are starting to look like interlocking pieces that could be part of a game – good. That actually makes sense. And, as much as they are clever, I wonder if you need them top and bottom? Sometimes a good thing can be overused, and this might be one of the times. Consider using them across both pages of the spread, moving from left to right along the bottom – or top, but not both. The band of them can serve to unify the pages if used in this way. Currently it appears like you might be using them to fill left over space… and they are actually making your pages look a bit too crowded. So – create a repeated band across both pages on your master page, knowing that you can always overlap the band with other photos – adding some depth to the pages if you like.
Your body copy still appears to be quite bold. Is there a lighter version of that type design?
Page 2 – Please consider moving the photo to the outside of the page, and the column of text to the inside. This allows the negative space that surrounds the photo to flow off the page, and opens up the design a bit. Currently you have left quite a lot of trapped neg space around that photo in its current position.
Page 3 – I’m not sure about your grid here. There seems to be an overly large amount of white space moving down the middle of your design. Instead, please increase your margins and pull the columns of text together. (This should be done on the master page). The margins are usually 2x the gutter between columns, cushioning the page design, like a frame. It is important that the negative columns of space are less than the margins to make that happen.
Feel free to use InDesign’s pre-styled bullet and numbered list formatting that you can find up on the control panel if you are in the text tool. It will employ double indenting, which I see is missing from your bullet list.
I suggest you leave ½ page for your infographic (vertical space or horizontal) and continue with the page layout, returning to that space after you are happy with your page layouts. It will be important that Levels of Achievement section appear on the same spread, with its 4 levels… and so having some freedom to work that out makes sense. Don’t worry about the infograph at this point, and I say that because it is already causing a problem by taking up too much room on page 4 and creating an issue with the next page (not enough content here, right?)
The data for the infograph is good – and I see 2 specific dated instances where the problem has resulted in a recall. Very expensive for the corporation, and something they would want to avoid. So – very good reason why they might be open to MBDC’s research. But – I think we might be able to find a more concise, compact way to show that data. And, it will depend on the space you end up with – so not to worry at this point. Finish the page layouts, and then return to this element.
Good beginning!
Hi Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteI definitely feel like the shapes look better filled in. But if you're going to use them at the top as well as the bottom of the page, try keeping them even from side to side rather than going up into the middle of the page with the shapes like you did on page 2 and 5. It just gives a more unified feel for a border.
Another suggestion I have for you is to play around with your text sections more. Maybe you could style them differently. The thing I'm noticing the most is between paragraphs, you don't have any different amount of space there which might make reading it a little tiresome because there are no real breaks. On page 4 the text at the top is also too close to the set of shapes you have up there.
HI Elizabeth! I admire the Polygon elements you've placed here. Im kind of concerned about the images on pages 2 and 3. make sure the Lago image dosent come in contact with the elements and do you want the image of the kids exactly in the middle? Perhaps make it alittle big and move it slightly to the top. (Just a suggestion). Careful, the sentence on page 4, where its touching the green elements(near top) Overrall its really good and simple and the details of the infograpgh are very great in detail, sends A STRONG important message.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
ReplyDeleteThe repeated design element of the hexagons creates a great rhythm throughout the brochure which is great! However, I do agree with Coni that it probably isn't needed all around the pages. I like her suggestion of having them either on the top or the bottom half of the page. Or maybe even in opposite corners? I also think it would be nice if you put a sort of faded gradient throughout the shapes. Like from the corners they would be full of color, but then as they expand into the page, they fade out to white. Just an idea!
I really like the improvements you've made with the leading! It looks much, much better now and easier for us to read. More breathing room. Careful on the bulleted list on page 3, there is a widow on the 2nd bullet and the 7th.
Also on page 2, i like that you emphasized the Cradle to Cradle by bolding it out of the paragraph. Though hyphenation is alright in most cases, I would turn it off or avoid using it for capital words or names like Cradle to Cradle. In that paragraph on page 2, the word Cradle is hyphenated, but easily fixable by taking out the hyphenation in that part.
Other than that, I think you've made tremendous improvements and I can't wait to see the finished design!