Page 2/3: Because there is so much text on the first spread, I suggest you help us begin reading at top of left column with a drop cap, or some other way to “mark” this as the place to begin.
Page 4/5: The heading for the Levels of Achievement is very very very small. It should be much larger, since you have allowed it to sit in its own area above the 3 columns that make up this section. Currently, it is just getting lost up there. So – make a change from the normal paragraph style and treat this as a big deal thing… which of course it IS. This section is the purpose of the brochure…. So allow that heading to “take charge”. AND – the little girl is looking up there… so you need to show us what she is looking at (the heading).
I am going to give you permission to cut type inside the different levels, cut out some of those bulleted items to allow those lists to sit in a less crowded and more inviting way. And, you should definitely get rid of enough lines to eliminate the 3 lines about the little girl sitting on books. She should simply fill that whole column.
Hannover Principles – needs a bigger heading too. Is some of that type that sits in that section crashing into the edge of the torn green paper? Pull that text frame away from the edge so that doesn’t happen. This section could begin higher on the page – giving a longer, thinner section room to sit.
Cradle to Cradle… too much type! This sidebar could easily be cut (and you’ve always had permission to do that) so that you have less type to work with, and allowing you to enlarge your margins and give your heading more room in which to sit.
Lastly – the BRE panel that begins “You might be eligible…” should speak more forcefully, and more creatively, to the reader. What words should be emphasized? Take a look at the typography of my example for this panel. It will help you be a typographer!
Ophelia – some last minute suggestions:
ReplyDeletePage 2/3: Because there is so much text on the first spread, I suggest you help us begin reading at top of left column with a drop cap, or some other way to “mark” this as the place to begin.
Page 4/5: The heading for the Levels of Achievement is very very very small. It should be much larger, since you have allowed it to sit in its own area above the 3 columns that make up this section. Currently, it is just getting lost up there. So – make a change from the normal paragraph style and treat this as a big deal thing… which of course it IS. This section is the purpose of the brochure…. So allow that heading to “take charge”. AND – the little girl is looking up there… so you need to show us what she is looking at (the heading).
I am going to give you permission to cut type inside the different levels, cut out some of those bulleted items to allow those lists to sit in a less crowded and more inviting way. And, you should definitely get rid of enough lines to eliminate the 3 lines about the little girl sitting on books. She should simply fill that whole column.
Hannover Principles – needs a bigger heading too. Is some of that type that sits in that section crashing into the edge of the torn green paper? Pull that text frame away from the edge so that doesn’t happen. This section could begin higher on the page – giving a longer, thinner section room to sit.
Cradle to Cradle… too much type! This sidebar could easily be cut (and you’ve always had permission to do that) so that you have less type to work with, and allowing you to enlarge your margins and give your heading more room in which to sit.
Lastly – the BRE panel that begins “You might be eligible…” should speak more forcefully, and more creatively, to the reader. What words should be emphasized? Take a look at the typography of my example for this panel. It will help you be a typographer!