This is definitely near done, but I have just some minor suggestions.
On the first page, is there a text wrap around the image on page 2 and the text? I think there might be, but I think you should play around with it a little more to give some more space around the shape because the type is sitting a little too close to it right now. I like that you changed the effect of the hexagon shapes and colors, as well as placing them on one side of the pages. I also like how you handled the 4 different levels on the 4-5 spread, clever! I also like the symmetrical look to the pages. If anything I was thinking on the back cover where you have the toys, maybe put a more compelling image of children playing with toys maybe. Also try adding a quote to give it a bit more impact, since the back cover is the second most important part of the brochure. But I think this has made some great improvements! Good work!
Elizabeth – this is coming together! Some thoughts:
Cover: the white texture bar at the top seems pretty distracting – I’m sure you would rather have us look at the photo and/or the logo. So why not use the version that I see on the inside pages? It is subtle, and adds some color to the top of the page.
Logo: If that texture bar became much more subtle, it would give you a change to enlarge the logo and the type and move it upwards a bit. Consider allowing it to overlap the bar a bit, adding depth to the page. You won’t have any problem with readability because of the green box – but you might need to bold the “Helping Businesses…” to make sure it increases in contrast.
Page 2/3: You do not need the first 2 paragraphs on page 2 – since those lines appear on the cover (where it was intended to be).
You should increase the text wrap around the left-hand photo – currently the type is sitting directly on its edge. Make sure the wrap is at least 9pts or larger.
How will we see where the paragraphs begin? It is usually done either by adding negative space between them, or indenting the first lines. I suggest you indent – since you are already using a lot of leading between your lines.
Scan the pages to eliminate any widows. I see 2 on this spread – use tracking to either pull them up, or push more text down to more fully fill out those last lines.
Top of right-hand column on page 3 is too high. Too close to the texture bar along the top. Pull the edge of that text frame down a bit so “to humans and the…” sits across from the body copy on the left.
Page 4/5 – Consider allowing the green background to move behind the texture bar at top, and bleed off the top. Try it, it might relax that area of the layout.
Because of the trapped awkward neg space on either side of the photo – think about moving it completely onto the right hand page, and allow the intro text for this section (The Cradle to Cradle framework…) to sit just on the left hand page. All inside that green background.
Page 6/7: Keep looking for a better photo for page 6. This is about a city in Germany (Hanover Germany) so an urban scene would make more sense, yes?
The photo at top of page 7 is sideways. So, when you straighten it out, it will become smaller and you’ll have room for some type next to it. Feel free to cut the supplied side bar type to fit next to the book cover.
You will find MBDC address at the front of the supplied text. Rather than use “Helping Businesses…” please use that address for both BRE address panels. (page 7 and page 8)
Remove folio on page 7 – it is in the way, and isn’t needed.
Back cover: I think the photo looks a bit distorted (too wide?). Some students are using a quote from William McDonough on the back that seems to speak to their particular industry. I encourage you to do the same. Here are a few I just found that you might like:
“Here’s where redesign begins in earnest, where we stop trying to be less bad and we start figuring out how to be good.” -William McDonough
“Sustainability takes forever. And that’s the point.”
“How do we love all the children of all species for all time?”
Elizabeth,
ReplyDeleteThis is definitely near done, but I have just some minor suggestions.
On the first page, is there a text wrap around the image on page 2 and the text? I think there might be, but I think you should play around with it a little more to give some more space around the shape because the type is sitting a little too close to it right now. I like that you changed the effect of the hexagon shapes and colors, as well as placing them on one side of the pages. I also like how you handled the 4 different levels on the 4-5 spread, clever! I also like the symmetrical look to the pages.
If anything I was thinking on the back cover where you have the toys, maybe put a more compelling image of children playing with toys maybe. Also try adding a quote to give it a bit more impact, since the back cover is the second most important part of the brochure.
But I think this has made some great improvements! Good work!
Elizabeth – this is coming together! Some thoughts:
ReplyDeleteCover: the white texture bar at the top seems pretty distracting – I’m sure you would rather have us look at the photo and/or the logo. So why not use the version that I see on the inside pages? It is subtle, and adds some color to the top of the page.
Logo: If that texture bar became much more subtle, it would give you a change to enlarge the logo and the type and move it upwards a bit. Consider allowing it to overlap the bar a bit, adding depth to the page. You won’t have any problem with readability because of the green box – but you might need to bold the “Helping Businesses…” to make sure it increases in contrast.
Page 2/3: You do not need the first 2 paragraphs on page 2 – since those lines appear on the cover (where it was intended to be).
You should increase the text wrap around the left-hand photo – currently the type is sitting directly on its edge. Make sure the wrap is at least 9pts or larger.
How will we see where the paragraphs begin? It is usually done either by adding negative space between them, or indenting the first lines. I suggest you indent – since you are already using a lot of leading between your lines.
Scan the pages to eliminate any widows. I see 2 on this spread – use tracking to either pull them up, or push more text down to more fully fill out those last lines.
Top of right-hand column on page 3 is too high. Too close to the texture bar along the top. Pull the edge of that text frame down a bit so “to humans and the…” sits across from the body copy on the left.
Page 4/5 – Consider allowing the green background to move behind the texture bar at top, and bleed off the top. Try it, it might relax that area of the layout.
Because of the trapped awkward neg space on either side of the photo – think about moving it completely onto the right hand page, and allow the intro text for this section (The Cradle to Cradle framework…) to sit just on the left hand page. All inside that green background.
Page 6/7: Keep looking for a better photo for page 6. This is about a city in Germany (Hanover Germany) so an urban scene would make more sense, yes?
The photo at top of page 7 is sideways. So, when you straighten it out, it will become smaller and you’ll have room for some type next to it. Feel free to cut the supplied side bar type to fit next to the book cover.
You will find MBDC address at the front of the supplied text. Rather than use “Helping Businesses…” please use that address for both BRE address panels. (page 7 and page 8)
Remove folio on page 7 – it is in the way, and isn’t needed.
Back cover: I think the photo looks a bit distorted (too wide?). Some students are using a quote from William McDonough on the back that seems to speak to their particular industry. I encourage you to do the same. Here are a few I just found that you might like:
“Here’s where redesign begins in earnest, where we stop trying to be less bad and we start figuring out how to be good.” -William McDonough
“Sustainability takes forever. And that’s the point.”
“How do we love all the children of all species for all time?”