Sarah – Your opening spread is inviting, and a slow way to invite people into the brochure. And the layout of 4/5 is coming along. Some suggestions:
Running head – the small text that appears in the very top corners of your design is not needed, in my opinion, because that element seems to complicate the top of your pages. If you want that information, I think you should place it at the bottom of your pages along with the folio. In fact, it could be broken up into 2 pieces, each one sitting on the inside on the pages (rather than next to the page #). The left hand page could read MBDC, and the right hand page could spell out the whole company name.
Page 4/5 – since there are multiple bulleted lists on this spread, it is important that they sit in a really readable fashion. I’m going to suggest you remove the current bullets and use InDesign’s pre-formatted bullet list style. This is an icon found on the control panel at the top the window when you are in the text tool. It will do double indenting for you.
Be consistent with that white type in those bars of color for your headings. Consistency is important. I think the green is dark enough for the white type to be successful.
Once the bulleted lists are looking better, consider bolding, and even enlarging the top paragraph, which introduces the rest of the page and currently is getting lost in the rest of the design. It is important that we read that – but there are other elements on the page that are pulling our attention ahead. You need to emphasize that paragraph a bit, to get us to slow down and begin there.
I’m not sure you need the photo at bottom left of page 4. Is there a way to attend to that column as a typographer would? What if you couldn’t use a photo at the bottom – that would leave you more room to be creative with type – yes?
Page 5 – Look closely at the top 2 paragraphs, they are breaking strangely.
The levels, in my opinion, should move over the 2 columns in a horizontal way. Meaning that Basic runs from left to right across both columns, and sits above Silver, which sits above Gold, which sits about Platinum. It will allow the bullet lists some room to sit (I suggest you indent them), as well as allowing us to read these levels in the correct order (currently we read them Basic, Gold, Silver, Platinum).
Your big challenge here to work with the lists, and design them in a way that is less awkward and more inviting to read.
Hi Sarah, The 2-3 spread looks the same as it did in class on Thursday. As for the 4-5 spread I can tell you worked more with the text as well as the pictures. I think it was a good choice that you added more pictures to the bottom of the large picture in the middle of the spread rather than the text you had there. However, The bulleted lists still need work, I feel like they're very confusing to read because of the ragged edges each section is creating since they're in two columns.
Other than that, I feel like the text itself is all you have to really work on. The images are great and are very relatable with your topic.
I think to my experience as A designer, the bulleted text can be very hard to manage. Perhaps some tracking and leading could work? I myself struggle with mine.
I really like your 2-3 spread. As Coni says it is inviting, and I also see that you've adjusted the photo so when folded, the crease does not go over it in a weird way. Nice!
The 2 bottom photos in the center I think helped add some breathing space to this page, as it was a little overwhelming with information last time. One thing, I think I would take out is the indents on the paragraphs. They tend to look a little odd when repeated. Maybe just adding a simple space between the paragraphs would suffice. I agree that the colors of the subheadings should remain the same, I think the white works best here. I'm also not sure if you really need McDonough Braungart Design Chemistry written out and the abbreviation. Maybe you can just have the abbreviation of it by itself? One last thing, I think that you could probably fit another picture in this spread, maybe on page 4 on the top right corner, to balance out the pages? Just a thought. Otherwise, this is looking really good!
Sarah – Your opening spread is inviting, and a slow way to invite people into the brochure. And the layout of 4/5 is coming along. Some suggestions:
ReplyDeleteRunning head – the small text that appears in the very top corners of your design is not needed, in my opinion, because that element seems to complicate the top of your pages. If you want that information, I think you should place it at the bottom of your pages along with the folio. In fact, it could be broken up into 2 pieces, each one sitting on the inside on the pages (rather than next to the page #). The left hand page could read MBDC, and the right hand page could spell out the whole company name.
Page 4/5 – since there are multiple bulleted lists on this spread, it is important that they sit in a really readable fashion. I’m going to suggest you remove the current bullets and use InDesign’s pre-formatted bullet list style. This is an icon found on the control panel at the top the window when you are in the text tool. It will do double indenting for you.
Be consistent with that white type in those bars of color for your headings. Consistency is important. I think the green is dark enough for the white type to be successful.
Once the bulleted lists are looking better, consider bolding, and even enlarging the top paragraph, which introduces the rest of the page and currently is getting lost in the rest of the design. It is important that we read that – but there are other elements on the page that are pulling our attention ahead. You need to emphasize that paragraph a bit, to get us to slow down and begin there.
I’m not sure you need the photo at bottom left of page 4. Is there a way to attend to that column as a typographer would? What if you couldn’t use a photo at the bottom – that would leave you more room to be creative with type – yes?
Page 5 – Look closely at the top 2 paragraphs, they are breaking strangely.
The levels, in my opinion, should move over the 2 columns in a horizontal way. Meaning that Basic runs from left to right across both columns, and sits above Silver, which sits above Gold, which sits about Platinum. It will allow the bullet lists some room to sit (I suggest you indent them), as well as allowing us to read these levels in the correct order (currently we read them Basic, Gold, Silver, Platinum).
Your big challenge here to work with the lists, and design them in a way that is less awkward and more inviting to read.
Hi Sarah,
ReplyDeleteThe 2-3 spread looks the same as it did in class on Thursday. As for the 4-5 spread I can tell you worked more with the text as well as the pictures. I think it was a good choice that you added more pictures to the bottom of the large picture in the middle of the spread rather than the text you had there. However, The bulleted lists still need work, I feel like they're very confusing to read because of the ragged edges each section is creating since they're in two columns.
Other than that, I feel like the text itself is all you have to really work on. The images are great and are very relatable with your topic.
I think to my experience as A designer, the bulleted text can be very hard to manage. Perhaps some tracking and leading could work? I myself struggle with mine.
DeleteSarah,
ReplyDeleteI really like your 2-3 spread. As Coni says it is inviting, and I also see that you've adjusted the photo so when folded, the crease does not go over it in a weird way. Nice!
The 2 bottom photos in the center I think helped add some breathing space to this page, as it was a little overwhelming with information last time. One thing, I think I would take out is the indents on the paragraphs. They tend to look a little odd when repeated. Maybe just adding a simple space between the paragraphs would suffice. I agree that the colors of the subheadings should remain the same, I think the white works best here. I'm also not sure if you really need McDonough Braungart Design Chemistry written out and the abbreviation. Maybe you can just have the abbreviation of it by itself? One last thing, I think that you could probably fit another picture in this spread, maybe on page 4 on the top right corner, to balance out the pages? Just a thought. Otherwise, this is looking really good!